Where I woke up this morning.

Last night in a midst of anger and confusion Laura took me out for pizza and beer, I stayed at her place for the night in the empty bed alternate to hers and gently fell asleep to the family-oriented Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Nothing unusual occured, though for some reason every time the film was over it would start playing again, and every time Raoul Duke was going for a swim in the ocean with an American flag draped over his back, I was awake to watch it.

This happened about 4 times.
Once at 1:00 AM
Once at 2:58 AM
Once at 4:56 AM
Once at 6:54 AM

Then, at 8:30 AM, I woke up in a Wal-Mart behind the toilet paper... second shelf from the bottom. A nearby employee who was restocking their quilted quicker picker uppers saw me roll off the shelf and onto the floor. She smelt my fear and gently waddled away to get the manager. As I sat there contemplating how it happened this time, the manager expressed his condolences by giving me a free copy of Gang Warz, which I assume was in the dollar DVD bin.

As I was implying, this happens more than you would think. I have found myself behind 8 kinds of toilet paper in 5 major department stores in 11 states. I was lucky that I woke up in the Wal-Mart in Ithaca. Once when I was 14 I went to sleep in NJ and woke up behind the Angel Soft in a Costco Warehouse outside of Phoenix, Arizona.